


Before, After, and In Between

by Bellobelle



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Other, M/M, Mystery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-19
Updated: 2014-01-19
Packaged: 2018-01-09 07:42:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1143334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bellobelle/pseuds/Bellobelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin finds himself in a strange forest, with no memories of who he is or how he got there. He meets Arthur, and together they must live in this odd, eerie world and try to get home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Before, After, and In Between

~

_Merlin...Merlin...._

At first Merlin thought he thought he was in heaven. He seemed to be floating in the middle of an unblemished white expanse, with the harsh brightness of it blinding him from all sides. Then he realized that he was standing knee-deep in snow, and that faint gray line was where the ground met the sky.

He didn’t know what to do, having seemingly blinked into existence, and therefore into consciousness. Two lanky arms hung at his sides and he stood on two spindly legs. He shifted them experimentally, enjoying the slight buzzing he felt in his feet. One foot lifted, then the other, and soon he was walking, because that’s all there was to do.

Gradually the white sky turned blue, and the ground sloped downwards until he was walking through trees, great pine trees that towered over his head, crystals clinging to each delicate branch. The crunch of his feet in the snow pleasantly echoed through the still universe, the rhythm comforting him. It felt serene and peaceful, untouched, unpolluted and uncorrupted. Once he stopped and found that if he held his breath and listened hard, he could detect the sound of cars rushing along a busy street, honking and clamoring. The sound was almost lost in the ringing of his ears, and the strain made Merlin’s head hurt. So he shut the sound out and continued to walk. 

Eventually he happened across a narrow stream. It glided through the snow in an almost perfect line, round, smooth pebbles resting beneath the glittering surface. He followed it, enjoying the trees that rose up on either side of the water, soldiers keeping watch over the land. 

His breath froze into visibility before him, and he entertained himself by creating puffy clouds from his nose and mouth, watching the way they hung in the air for long minutes before they disappeared. He imagined he was a dragon, blowing smoke wherever he pleased, and the thought made him smile. But with the discovery of his frozen breaths came the realization that he was cold, incredibly so. He stopped walking and looked down at himself, noticing for the first time that he wasn’t wearing any clothes. His skin was pale, he saw, pinker than the snow around him, a smattering of black hair across his chest. He saw hip bones that jutted out from his skin, as well as long, gangly legs and pink feet raw from the cold.

He shivered suddenly, violently, hugging his thin arms around himself and rubbing, trying to generate some heat. Suddenly this world seemed less peaceful and more frightening, looming ahead of him, eternally before and behind and all around.

He broke into a run, then, moving as fast as he could to get his breath moving and his blood pumping, anything to warm himself, but it did little to help. There was no end to this creek in sight, stretching out for ever.

He’d been running for minutes, hours, he wasn’t sure, when he heard a voice calling to him. 

“Hey! You!” He stumbled to a halt and spun around, searching out the source of the shout and ran to the right upon locating it. He ran through the trees until he skidded to a stop, barely a hair’s width away from someone else.

He stared at the man before him, entranced by the halo of golden hair, the expanse of tan naked skin, and the bright, sparkling blue eyes.

After a forever of staring, Merlin spoke first. “Are you an angel?”

Confusion flashed across the stranger’s face before a smile appeared and he chuckled. “Don’t think so,” He said, “Angels have wings and harps, don’t they?”

“Yeah well, how am I supposed to know?” Merlin replied. “Who are you, then?”

The stranger’s smile faltered. “I’m not sure,” He admitted. ”

“Me too,” Merlin said. “Don’t you have a name?”

The stranger shook his head. “I think it started with an A,” He said thoughtfully, “But I can’t think of anything else.”

“Oh.” Merlin frowned. “Well, I’m Merlin.”

“How do you know?” The stranger asked.

“How do I know what?”

“How do you know that’s your name?” 

Merlin stared. “I don’t know, it just is!” 

“ ‘It just...is,’ “ The stranger repeated, like he doubted Merlin’s reasoning. 

“Everyone has a name, and that’s mine. I’m Merlin.” 

“But doesn’t someone have to name you?” The stranger asked. “You don’t just wake up and decide your name for yourself. You have to be named, by your mother or something.”

Merlin quieted, taken slightly aback. He searched back through his memories, trying to figure out how he knew his name was ‘Merlin.’ But he found, with a rush of disappointment, that the extent of his memories ended with him blinking into existence at the top of the snowy hill. 

“I’m Merlin, alright?” He said haughtily, “So as long as that’s my name, we can call you Arthur.”

A shrug. “I like that. Like the king.”

Damn, Merlin thought, Arthur’s going to be a prat about this, isn’t he? 

“I’m freezing,” Arthur said. “Is there somewhere we can warm up?” 

“There’s a stream that way I was following,” Merlin said, pointing his thumb over his shoulder behind him. “Maybe it can lead us somewhere.” 

“Really?” Arthur said with interest. “All I’ve seen are trees.”

“Come on, I’ll show you.”

Merlin led the way as they trudged back the way Merlin came. Merlin’s teeth started chattering again, having forgotten his chill in the excitement of meeting Arthur. Arthur moved closer so that their shoulders pressed together. It didn’t do much to share body heat, but the contact was almost enough of a distraction. 

When they reached the creek they followed it, walking side by side in silence. They didn’t talk too much– there wasn’t much to say. Neither knew anything about themselves, or each other, or this world they have found themselves in. So instead of talking, they walked.

~

After hours of walking in silence, they finally encountered an irregular in the uniformity of the forest. A clearing in the trees, wide and blinding white, forming a half circle on the banks of the stream. In one corner, tucked in the shadow of the trees, sat a tiny log cabin. 

Merlin and Arthur stopped on the opposite side of the clearing and stared, neither wanting to make the first move. The structure was unassuming and almost quaint, with two windows on each side, with a faded red door at the front, a chimney protruding from the roof. It would have been completely and utterly unremarkable, but for the fact that it was the only thing apart from trees that could be seen.

_Merlin..._

“Did you say something?” Merlin asked. Arthur tore his gaze from the cabin to give Merlin a blank look.

“No, I didn’t.”

“I could have sworn I heard someone saying my name.”

Arthur snorted. “You’re hearing things. Come on.” Arthur started towards the cabin before Merlin stopped him with a hand on his elbow.

“Wait,” He hissed, “What are you doing?” 

Arthur turned, looking at Merlin incredulously, as though he were the most inept specimen he had ever seen. Which, for all they knew, he was. “Knocking on the door, what does it look like?”

“Stark naked?” Merlin asked sharply, keeping his eyes firmly locked with Arthur’s and decidedly not acknowledging his blush. He let his hand drop to his side.

“Do you see any other option?” Arthur asked, and when Merlin didn’t answer, said, “My point. Whoever’s inside will just have to deal.”

“But...we don’t know who’s inside,” Merlin said. “It could be a serial killer, or something.”

“I’m sure it’s fine, Merlin,” Arthur said exasperatedly. “They’ll be able to help us find our way home, hopefully. Don’t you want to go home?”

“I don’t even know where home is,” Merlin pointed out, “And neither do you.” 

Arthur scowled. 

“Doesn’t that place look a bit dodgy to you?” Merlin said, looking past Arthur to peer at the house suspiciously. The windows were black, and there was nothing to indicate life within the little cabin. 

“This whole place seems dodgy to me,” Arthur responded, “That’s why I want to get out of here as soon as possible, and if that means I have to go inside a dodgy cabin, then so be it.” 

Merlin gave a frustrated exhale as Arthur started to walk towards the cabin again, before jogging slightly to catch up. 

Arthur rapped on the worn wooden door three times, looking at Merlin with a smug expression. Merlin scowled back at him. 

A minute went by, then two. The door remained closed. So Arthur tried again, and still nobody answered. 

“Maybe we should go,” Merlin started, but Arthur cut him off and instructed him to look in the windows. Merlin went, grumbling as he did so, and called back to Arthur that there was nothing there upon looking into the cabin and seeing only indiscernible shapes in the darkness.

“Well then, we’ll just have to go inside.”

“Are you mad?” Merlin exclaimed, but Arthur already had a hand on the knob by the time Merlin reached him. It turned at his touch, and Arthur threw him a look before pushing the door open and slipping inside. 

“I’m not standing out there all day,” He said. “We’ll find some clothes and then leave, alright?”

Merlin followed him into the cabin, and startled at how bright it was inside. Somehow the light reflecting off the snow streamed in through the few windows, illuminating the room in a bright white glow that somehow couldn’t be seen when looked at through the windows.

Before he could take a proper look at the interior of the cabin, something soft fluttered over his vision and he stumbled backwards, crying out in surprise.

“Nice,” Said Arthur somewhere near him, tugging a T-shirt over his head. “Very strong. Nice reflexes.”

“I wasn’t expecting that,” Merlin grumbled, gathering the clothing from where they had landed on the rough black carpet around him. “I’m perfectly strong.”

“And yet you’re easily knocked over by a pair of trousers.” 

“You took me by surprise,” Merlin repeated calmly, and he set to work putting the clothes on. They were a simple pair of jeans and a blue long sleeved T-shirt, almost exactly the same as the red one Arthur was now wearing. “Where did you get these?”

“Found them,” Arthur replied. “I’m sure nobody will miss them too badly.”

“Right.” Merlin walked over to the nearest window, looking out past the dirty glass at the trees beyond. Outside the they stood straight and tall. Something in their cold demeanor unsettled Merlin, and he turned away. 

“What else is in here then?” Merlin and Arthur looked curiously about themselves. It seemed the entire cabin consisted of one room, bare except for some stark white duvets and pillows piled neatly in a corner. The carpet was rough and cold against Merlin’s feet, and he shifted uncomfortably where he stood. 

“What’s that?” Arthur pointed over Merlin’s shoulder. Merlin turned around.

“It’s coffee,” Merlin said, kneeling down. Indeed, there was a cardboard cup sitting on the floor with no lid, allowing Merlin to see that it was half full of black coffee. A thick translucent trail of steam arose from its depths, curling and twisting lazily up until it gathered on the ceiling, moving like a ghost, but not fading. 

“Someone must be coming back soon, then,” Merlin concluded, hovering his hand over the cup. The heat felt pleasant as the steam curled around his fingers, warming his skin from the chill of his surroundings. 

“We should wait for them here,” Arthur said. 

Merlin looked up out of the window at the sky. It had been growing darker as they walked earlier, clouds thickening considerably quickly. Now they gave a low rumble, and Merlin could feel the vibrations in the pit of his chest. 

“I don’t fancy being stuck in that,” Merlin agreed. With regret he withdrew his hand from over the coffee and stood. “Let’s make ourselves comfortable, then.” 

Arthur and Merlin each took a pillow from the pile in the corner– Arthur took two– and they settled in to wait. 

~

After what seemed like ages, it was decided that the owner of this cabin was not coming back anytime soon. The thunder outside became louder and more frequent, the sky darkening rapidly, and soon the room was nearly completely black. Rain began to fall, harsh drops hurling themselves against the sides of the cabin, each one landing with a loud plink against the wood. As the winds picked up and the windows rattled in their panes, Merlin wondered if the cabin would be able to stand against a full-on thunderstorm. The structure seemed old and rusty, as though the slightest winds would blow it to the ground.

At some point when the storm picked up, Merlin and Arthur migrated together until they were huddled against each other, using one another as a shield to block the weather. Each were wrapped in one of the thick white duvets, the material crinkling with each tiny movement. 

The storm was enormously loud, and they both felt it to the core. Something about the dark and the rain and the noise sent terror through Merlin’s veins, pounding through him and making him shudder. With each clap of thunder he flinched, the wind roaring in his ears. It was odd, he thought, that this storm was causing him such distress, since he had no memory of being affected like this before. But then again, he didn’t remember much of anything. 

He was grateful that he had Arthur with him, this man he barely knew to keep him company. At least he wasn’t alone in this strange place. They all but clung to one another, for there was nowhere else to go. 

“Glad we’re not stuck in that, eh?” Merlin said, trying for nonchalance, but his words were nearly drowned out by the abrupt roar of thunder. 

Arthur grunted in agreement, his face illuminated by an electric white flash of lightning. He huddled closer to Merlin, and Merlin could feel his shivers through the double layer of fabric between them, just as terrified as he was. 

“Where are we?” 

“I don’t know.”

It shouldn’t have startled Merlin that Arthur responded to his question, but it did. Merlin didn’t say it loudly, more to himself than for the sake of conversation. He’d never seen a place like this, or at least, he didn’t think he had. Merlin didn’t have any memories to reference to know whether he had been in such a forest before, but he felt with some certainty that this place was unfamiliar to him. Not only had he never laid eyes on this place, but the whole situation felt alien, as though he was a stranger here in mind as well as in body. 

“Well, how did you get here?” 

Arthur was quiet before answering. “It’s odd” He said, “But I have no memory of anything before this.” 

“Almost like you didn’t exist before you woke up here,” Merlin supplied, and Arthur gave him a slightly surprised look and said, “Exactly.”

“You don’t remember anything? From before?” Merlin pressed. 

“Nothing. I don’t...” Arthur seemed to struggle to find a hint of a memory. “I remember rain.”

“You do?” Merlin asked. Curiosity sparked, suddenly he was eager to know more about Arthur, and whatever world he may have come from. 

“Yeah. Lighter rain though, not nearly as much as this is now. But it was cold, and there was thunder. After that, nothing.”

He stopped to mull this over. Merlin wondered if the rain from Arthur’s memory had anything to do with the storm now. Maybe it was a prelude to this? With a twinge of envy, Merlin tried to find a memory of his own, something to give clue to where the hell they are, or who he is. 

“What about you?”

Merlin shook his head. “I just...woke up here. I don’t know. I don’t think there was any exact moment when I woke up. One moment I was suddenly...aware. I don’t know.”

Arthur nodded. Merlin felt the movement brush Arthur’s fringe against his cheek, huddled close as they were.

Suddenly, the thunder gave a tremendous blast, rattling the cabin and sending vibrations down Merlin’s spine.

“Is that all you remember?” Merlin said over the pounding of the rain. 

“That’s all.” 

Merlin sighed, and let the matter drop. 

Eventually they fell into a fitful sleep, while the storm raged on. 

~

“It’s too bright here,” Arthur declared, as he and Merlin traipsed through the snow, following the ramrod-straight creek. 

“That’s what happens when there’s snow and sun. The light reflects.”

“I’m being blinded.” 

Merlin sighed as Arthur plowed on. “I don’t like it. It shouldn’t be this bright.” 

“There isn’t too much to be done about it, is there? So stop complaining.”

Arthur huffed and the two kept walking, arms wrapped tightly around themselves, shivering to stave off the cold. Their breaths and footsteps roared in Merlin’s ears, as the babble of the creek faded to silence behind them. 

Trees surrounded them on either side, fanning out into the distance. Merlin stared at them as they passed, letting Arthur move ahead. He paused to inspect one of them, bringing up a hand to touch one of the branches.

Deep in his gut, something felt wrong about this. As far as he could tell, nothing was wrong with the tree, but it seemed somehow unreal, as though it were made of a very special kind of plastic. Not dead, yet not quite alive either. The branch felt rough on Merlin’s fingertips, enough to convince him that the tree existed, at least. The uneasy feeling remained. 

“Are you planning on staring at plants all day, Merlin?” Arthur’s voice called out to him. Merlin let his hand drop, not taking his eyes off of the forest surrounding him.

“Something isn’t right here,” he said. Arthur rolled his eyes. 

“What makes you think so? Could it be the fact that we both woke up here alone with some kind of amnesia?”

“No, that’s not what I meant,” Merlin said, finally turning his head to meet Arthur’s gaze. “This place. It feels weird.” 

“Weird how?” Arthur asked, turning with a gesture for Merlin to follow. 

“This forest. Have you ever seen trees like this?”

“I wouldn’t know if I have, would I?”

“But trees don’t grow like this,” Merlin persisted. “These ones are exactly the same distance apart, each and every one of them! That’s not supposed to happen, is it?”

“Maybe we’re in some sort of preservation area,” Arthur suggested. Merlin cast an uneasy glance at their surroundings. The trees stared back at him in their neat rows, never ending. 

“This place is weird,” Merlin declared. Above, the sky gave a rumble of thunder. He looked up to inspect the rapidly darkening clouds forming and frowned. When they had woken up that morning, the sky had been completely clear. Where had these clouds come from?

“Maybe we should go back to the cabin,” Merlin said, “It’s going to rain soon.”

“We have to keep going,” Arthur sighed, sounding as exasperated as if he were dealing with a toddler. “A little rain won’t hurt you.”

“But doesn’t this feel a little creepy to you?” Merlin said, eyeing the creek cutting perfectly straight between the forest. 

“Of course it does, that’s why we can’t stop,” Arthur said firmly. “This place is eerie, and I want to get home. Our best hope is to find that highway.”

“We don’t even know where that is!” Merlin exclaimed, “We’ve gotten no closer to it than we were this morning.”

“You don’t know that.”

“It hasn’t gotten any louder,” Merlin pointed out. Arthur sighed. 

“Look,” he said, “I want to get out of here just as much as you do. The only way out seems to be finding that road and hopefully we can hitchhike out of here, or at least find civilization. We can’t turn around every time it rains.”

At the word “rain,” thunder rumbled again and droplets began to fall. Merlin lifted his hand to feel it on his skin, but as soon as it made contact he hissed and hugged his hand to him. It was cold, freezing cold, almost enough to burn his skin with it. 

Beside him, Arthur must have felt it too, because he began to curse and shield himself with his arms. 

“What the hell kind of rain is this?” 

The sounds around them increased as the rain fell heavier, angrier, down on them. Where it came in contact with Merlin’s skin, it hurt like hell and left crystals of ice clinging to the fibers of his shirt. 

“Run!” Arthur yelled, and Merlin swallowed his retorts of “Yes, obviously,” in favor of obeying.   
Merlin broke into a sprint as the rain fell harder, landing on his skin like a thousand pins. He brought his arms up and ducked his head, breath coming in uneven puffs as he ran.

_Merlin..._

Something caught his eye and he skidded to a halt, staring wildly about him. 

Standing just behind the next line of trees was a woman. She stood luxuriously just behind the next line of trees, in a fine lavender gown that clung to her torso and fell around her hips. Her hair was long and dark against her pale skin. The area around her eyes was heavily made up with luscious eyelashes and exaggerated eyeshadow that matched the shade of her dress.

“Hey!” Merlin yelled and took a step towards her, but he blinked again and she was gone. He spun around wildly to find which way she went, but it was as though she had never been there, and the rain was falling heavier and heavier. He opened his mouth to ask if Arthur had seen her, but the space beside him was empty. 

“Arthur?” Merlin called desperately, but his voice was drowned out by a roar of thunder until he was forced to run.

The rain sizzled and hissed on his flesh until Merlin finally saw the cabin door through the downpour. He burst through it and fell to the floor, clutching at the stitch in his chest. 

He lay there for a moment, reveling in the feeling of his cheek pressed against the rough carpet of the floor, until his eyelids lit up with lightning and more thunder cracked in his ears. Then he remembered he had burst into the cabin alone.

“Arthur!” He gasped, jumping up and staring out the open door. Merlin could barely make out the trees through the furious rain, but he squinted anyway, searching desperately for any sign of Arthur. 

Finally something shifted amongst the dark silhouettes of the trees, and another flash of lightning illuminated Arthur stumbling towards the cabin. 

Merlin gasped and tore out, sprinting through the icy rain until he could grab Arthur by the shoulders and haul him inside.

“What the hell took you so long?” Merlin demanded, slamming the door shut.

“I got distracted,” Arthur gasped. He peeled off his soaked shirt and left it in a soggy pile on the floor. 

“By what? The freaking rain?” 

“It was fucking awful rain, if you hadn’t noticed,” Arthur said, “But I saw someone. A woman.”

Merlin stilled in the middle of removing his own wet shirt. “You saw her too?”

“Yeah,” Arthur said, “Only for a moment.”

“Black hair, purple dress, ridiculously heavy eyeshadow?”

“That’s the one,” Arthur confirmed. He moved to pick up a blanket from the floor, and Merlin sent an irritated look at where Arthur’s wet shirt still lay where he’d carelessly tossed it.

“She disappeared when I saw her,” Merlin said, picking up Arthur’s shirt. “She didn’t seem affected by the rain at all.”

“It was strange,” Arthur agreed. 

“I wonder if she’s still out there?” Merlin said, hanging Arthur’s shirt by the windowsill to dry, and putting his own alongside it. 

“She can’t have gone far.” Arthur handed Merlin a blanket to wrap around himself. “We’ll look for her when the storm ends.”

A clap of thunder punctuated Arthur’s words and Merlin flinched, remembering the feeling of the rain on his skin.

Merlin saw Arthur flinch too, but it was soon covered up by a stiffening of his back. As lighting lit up the room, the two of them gathered all the blankets and pillows they could find, sitting down and tucking them close.

The storm raged on and on around them as they huddled close together. They fell asleep like that, a heap of blankets and tangled limbs, protecting each other against the noise.

~

The next morning was as clear and bright as the day before, so Merlin and Arthur set out again in search for the highway.

“I can hear it,” Arthur muttered at random intervals, and Merlin sympathized with the frustration on his face as they tried to track down the distant sounds. It seemed so close, as if all they had to do was step beyond their line of sight and it would be waiting behind the trees. But then it wouldn’t be there, and the sounds would be far away again. The source of the honking and screeching eluded them wherever they went.

“This place can’t be normal,” Merlin grouses hours later. “Look at the trees! What trees do you know of that act like this?” 

“They’re just trees Merlin, calm down,” Arthur said, though a crease appeared between his eyebrows as he eyed the forest around them. 

“They’re equidistant,” Merlin said, “Trees don’t grow like that naturally. It’s supposed to be random, but these– just look, they’re exactly the same distance apart from each other.” 

Arthur shook his head. “Someone could have planted them that way.”

“A whole forest?” Merlin rebutted. Arthur sighed. 

“I don’t know this place any better than you do, Merlin.”

“But it’s weird,” Merlin insisted, “Something is wrong with this place.”

“Very astute observation,” Arthur said.

“You know what I mean,” Merlin said. “This place isn’t right.”

“Compared to what?” 

Merlin opened his mouth to reply, but he had nothing to say. He was saved from answering by a faraway rumbling of thunder.

“We should go,” He said instead, looking up at the sky which had become completely obscured and was darkening quickly. 

Arthur nodded, sending one last regretful glance in the direction they thought the highway was, then turned to follow Merlin back to the cabin.

~

The cabin trembled with the force of the thunder, screaming and creaking around them. The wood groaned, threatening to collapse like a house of cards. 

“Don’t leave me,” Merlin whispered, his voice barely loud enough to hear above the furious pounding of the rain. “Promise me you won’t leave me alone here.”

Merlin felt Arthur’s arms tighten around his waist. They clung to each other squished in the corner, for warmth and the illusion of safety. 

“I promise.” Electricity lights up Arthur’s words. “I won’t go anywhere.”

~

When Merlin woke, the world around them was eerily silent and his head was pillowed on Arthur’s chest. 

He knew he should move, because the storm was over and it was actually quite hot underneath the pile of blankets. But Merlin didn’t feel like leaving just yet, so he didn’t.

He lay there, feeling the rise and fall of Arthur’s chest beneath his cheek. He relaxed into the position, so close he could tell that their hearts were beating in tandem. Sighing, Merlin listened to the quiet sounds of their breathing. It filled the room, breaking the silence of the universe and soothingly calm after the terror of the night before. 

Finally Arthur shifted beneath him and Merlin braced himself for the bubble of peace to break.

“That cup of coffee,” Arthur murmured.

“What about it?” Merlin said. Arthur hadn’t shoved him off yet. 

“It hasn’t cooled.”

“Huh?” Merlin turned his attention to the coffee they found when they first entered the cabin. It was placed in the corner where they couldn’t spill it, since the room had no shelves. 

Indeed, a thick spiral of steam rose gracefully up from the cup, as though it was still freshly poured. 

“It’s been days.” Arthur’s brow was furrowed in confusion. “Shouldn’t it have cooled by now?”

“Yeah,” Merlin breathed, “Yeah, it should have.”

They pondered the corner until one of them realized that they still hadn’t moved from their sleeping position.

“Um,” Arthur said, looking frightened at Merlin hovering above him.

“Um,” Merlin replied. 

For a moment the world narrowed down to the realization that Arthur’s eyes were the exact color of the strikingly blue sky outside. Merlin entertained the idea that maybe that was a sign of some sort. Then Arthur coughed.

“We should get going. We haven’t searched round the back yet.” 

Merlin nodded and scrambled to rise. “Yeah, let’s go.” 

So they set out for another day of searching for a way home.

~

The day was blinding white and still as always. They traipsed through the forest in silence, punctuated only by their breathing and their feet in the snow. The trees stretched impossibly beyond them. 

They were nowhere nearer to finding the highway when they saw her. She stood in the same position as before, with her hands loosely draped around her hips and a languid smirk on her face. Her lavender dress seemed to melt around her. 

This time she didn’t disappear when they headed towards her. When they reached her she blinked at them, fluttering her heavy eyelashes. 

“Hello,” Arthur said, holding out a hand. She said nothing.

“I’m Arthur,” He said, “And this is Merlin.”

“Hi,” Merlin offered his brightest, friendliest smile. She looked at him and smiled softly back, fluttering her eyelashes again.

An awkward moment of silence stretched between them. The woman said nothing in return and seemed oblivious to Arthur’s offered hand, so he dropped it to his side. 

“We’re lost,” Merlin tried. “We need help getting out of here. Do you know where we can find a road?”

The woman batted her eyelashes again.

“There’s a highway we’ve been trying to find,” Arthur pressed, “But we can’t seem to locate it.”

“We’ve been staying in someone’s cabin,” Merlin added, “Is it yours? You’re the only person we’ve seen here.”

Still the woman did not respond. 

“Hello?” Merlin snapped his fingers in front of her face, but her expression remained blank. Arthur cursed.

“Is she deaf, do you think?” Arthur suggested. 

“Hello?” Merlin said again, leaning in to speak directly into her ear. “Can you help us?” 

He leaned back to look at her eyes. Her eyes were painted with huge amounts of eyeliner, curling up into pointy wings on either side, accented with bright lavender eyeshadow. 

“Could you just point us in the direction of the highway?” Arthur asked, his voice growing with impatience. “You don’t have to say anything.”

“Please?” Merlin added on hopefully. The woman smiled, but her hands remained still. 

“Tell us where we are, at least,” Arthur said. 

Merlin peered at her. She was looking between them, a smile playing at her lips, as though laughing at some private joke that Merlin and Arthur were missing out on. Her eyes landed on Merlin and stayed there, and he couldn’t help but stare. Though her eyes were made up to the point of ridiculousness, her expression was blank and empty. She stared at Merlin, but did not seem to see him. 

“There’s something wrong with her,” Arthur announced.

“She can’t see us,” Merlin said. “Look at her eyes.” 

“What the hell?” Arthur muttered, waving his hand in front of her face. The woman fluttered her eyelashes again.

“Who is she?” Merlin whispered. “Who are you?” He repeated, almost shouting at her.

“Help us!” Arthur yelled. His voice echoed around them, then died down until all that could be heard was the highway in the distance. 

“Damnit,” Arthur growled, “Talk to us!” 

They were silent for one breath, then two, then she was gone. 

“What the fuck?” 

“She’s gone,” Merlin said, glancing around. 

“Where the hell could she have gone to?” Arthur exclaimed. There weren’t even footsteps in the snow where she once stood. 

“She can’t have just disappeared!” Arthur said.

“She did the same thing before,” Merlin remembered, “When I saw her in the storm, I only saw her for a second before she vanished.” 

“But she can’t have!” Arthur protested, his voice hard with frustration. “She’s our only chance at getting out of here!” 

“She wasn’t saying anything,” Merlin reminds him, “I don’t think we ever could get anything out of her.” 

“We could have gotten her to talk,” Arthur said, tugging at his hair. “She couldn’t have stayed silent forever.”

Merlin bit his lip. “She might turn up again,” he said, “We’ll just need to keep an eye out.”

“She could be anywhere in this whole forest,” Arthur said. 

“We’ll see her again,” Merlin assured him, though he knew he had no way of guaranteeing it. “Come on, let’s keep looking.” 

He started to walk again, pushing his feet through the snow, and soon he heard Arthur follow. 

“There might be other people out here,” Arthur said some time later, “Maybe she has friends who can help us.” 

“She’s the only other person we’ve seen,” Merlin replied, “I think if there are any other people we would have seen them.”

“We just haven’t been looking hard enough,” Arthur said, sounding more like he was talking to himself than to Merlin. “If there’s a road close by, there’s got to be people, right?”

“Maybe,” Merlin said. They trudged on in silence for a few steps. Then a thought occurred to him. “Maybe she was an angel.”

“A what?”

“You know,” Merlin said, waving his fingers in the air at the land around them. “Maybe this is heaven.”

“This isn’t heaven, Merlin,” Arthur said, a hint of amusement in his voice. “If it is, it’s pretty shit.”

“Come on, it’s not that bad.”

“It’s not that great,” Arthur huffed, “I’ve got to spend eternity annoyed by you.”

“Hey! I’m very good company!” Merlin retorted. 

“You don’t have to live with you,” Arthur shot back. “Anyways, heaven is supposed to be full of angels, isn’t it? That purple woman definitely was not an angel.”

Merlin frowned. “Maybe we’re the only two truly good people.” 

Arthur actually laughed at that.

“Alright, maybe this is hell and she’s the devil,” Merlin bit out.

“Hell is a never ending forest chasing after a road?” 

“You keep complaining about how much torture this is!” 

Arthur huffed out a laugh. “This isn’t hell. It can’t be.”

Arthur fell silent, and when Merlin looked at him, his countenance had changed. 

“Why not?” he asked.

“Well you’re here, for one.” 

Merlin spluttered. “You’re the one who just called me annoying!” 

“Being annoying isn’t a sin,” Arthur said. Merlin swore a blush was creeping up his golden cheeks, and he felt his blood rush to color his own face. 

Arthur coughed. “This isn’t heaven or hell, it can’t be. Besides, we’d have to be dead for that. I don’t feel dead, do you?”

Merlin frowned as they continued to walk. His limbs were all there and he could feel them, moving and working underneath his skin. He could feel the blood pumping in his veins and the air in his lungs, the way the cold seeped through the fabric of his shirt and bit his skin.

“No,” Merlin said slowly, “I suppose not.”

“Well there you are then.” 

Neither said anything else after that, so they continued to walk after the sounds of the highway in silence, until the sky darkened and the storm came again and they were forced to turn back.  
~

They sat at the edge of the creek outside of the cabin, dipping their fingers in the water. It wasn’t ice cold, unlike the world around them. It was warm, like bathwater that had been left to cool. 

“There’ve got to be more people,” Merlin said quietly, “They’ve got to be around here somewhere. We just need to find them, and they can help us.” 

Arthur splashed water on his face and rubbed vigorously. “We would have found them by now, don’t you think?” 

Merlin watched as Arthur blinked the water from his eyes. “We found the woman, and the owner of this cabin can’t be far. We just keep missing them.”

Arthur sighed, cupping more water in his hands. “I don’t think the owner is coming back.”

“Why not?” Merlin asked, dipping his fingertips in the creek and watching the water flow around him. 

“The owner could be dead,” Arthur said, “Or lost. Or he could have just left.”

Merlin wiggled his fingers so that the water sprayed around him, the droplets catching in the light and flashing in his eyes. 

“What if the owner never existed?” Arthur says suddenly. Merlin looks over to see him looking back at the cabin. “What if there isn’t anyone else at all? What if there’s just us?” 

Merlin snorted. “There are obviously other people, Arthur, we just haven’t seen them.”

“What if that’s not true?” Arthur turned and met Merlin’s gaze, hands stilling in the water. “Maybe we’re the only people in existence. We could be doomed to stay here forever, alone.”

Merlin stared. “We would have each other,” He said. “Would that be so bad?”

Arthur looked down. “I can’t remember ever knowing anyone else,” he said quietly. 

Merlin made a bowl with his hands and submerged them in the water. He searched through his memory, looking back to before he arrived in this place. He tried to remember a face, or a name, or anything that would remind him of having known someone before. 

He lifted his hands and stared at the water cupped in his palms. A sense of longing unfurled in his chest, like a shadow left over from love. He couldn’t bring any faces to mind, but the memory of happiness stirred. He tried to grab onto the feeling, to follow it back into his mind to find the source, but as soon as he tried to find the memory, the feeling was gone. 

Merlin opened his fingers and let the water drain out. “I don’t remember anyone,” He admitted, “But I knew people. I had friends and family, at some point. I just can’t remember them.” He was sure of it, as though he can remember knowing them but doesn’t anymore. 

“Don’t you have a feeling? Like you had loved ones, once?” He asked. 

“No,” Arthur said shortly. 

“Are you sure?” Merlin pressed, looking at him, “Because I have this feeling, like I remember loving at some time before all this. You don’t have that?”

Arthur shook his head. “It’s like my whole existence has just been this forest with you. I was never a child. This is all I’ve ever known.”

“We both were something before this,” Merlin said gently, “We just can’t remember. You had to have had someone before this.”

Arthur took his hands out of the water. “I envy you, Merlin,” He said without looking over. “I don’t remember anything. I honestly don’t think I was loved before this.”

Merlin frowned. “Sure you were, you just don’t remember.”

“You have a feeling,” Arthur said, meeting Merlin’s gaze, “I don’t. Whoever I used to be, I didn’t have many friends.”

After a beat of silence, Merlin said, “I like being here with you.”

Arthur raised an eyebrow and Merlin fought the urge to look away, feeling his face coloring. “I’m glad you’re with me. It would be hell to stay here alone.”

Arthur’s face remained still, but he didn’t break eye contact. Merlin continued in a rush.

“If we were anywhere else I don’t think we would get on like we do. But here we’re friends, and I’m glad. I’m glad we’re here together.”

A smile tugged at the edge of Arthur’s lips, so small that Merlin almost missed it. 

“I’m glad too,” Arthur said. Merlin grinned. 

~

As usual, they woke up tangled together, buried under heaps of blankets in the center of the floor.

“The storm is over,” Merlin mumbled, breaking the silence. 

“Yeah,” Arthur said, “It is.” 

They lay there, listening to each other breathe and basking in each other’s warmth. Merlin waited for Arthur to get up and start the search for the highway again, like he did every morning. But Arthur didn’t move, so neither did Merlin. 

They spent the day like that, until the storm came again and they fell asleep against each other.

~

The next morning was the same. They lay together, unmoving, against each other’s heartbeats.

“I do want to go home,” Arthur said to the ceiling. “Wherever that is. As soon as we find the highway we can get home.”

Merlin hummed. “What do you think is out there?” He asked. 

“I don’t know,” Arthur murmured, “But when we find it it’ll solve a lot of problems.”

Merlin looked up at him. “We can’t find it without getting caught in the storm.”

“We’ll find a way.” 

“I know we will.” Merlin sighed and laid his head back on Arthur’s chest. “And if we don’t...”

“Then we’ll just have to stay here for the rest of our lives.” 

“I thought you hated this place,” Merlin said. 

Arthur’s arm tightened around Merlin’s waist. “It’s got some perks.” 

“Like what?” Merlin glanced back up. Arthur said nothing, keeping his gaze fixed upwards. Tentatively, Merlin brought up a hand to Arthur’s chest and pressed his palm down, spreading his fingers over Arthur’s skin. His heart thumped against his skin in time with his own. 

Arthur didn’t shake him off, so Merlin kept his hand there, counting heartbeats until the storm came again.

~

The thunder shook the cabin, and this time Merlin was sure it would collapse on top of them.

The sound of the rain pounding against the sides was like a thousand firecrackers going off at once, and anything Merlin wanted to say would have been unheard. So he clung to Arthur as Arthur clung to him, hiding in each other, waiting for the storm to pass.

~*~

It’s days like these, Merlin decides, that are the reason everyone in the world is miserable. 

Above, thunder rumbles loudly from the dark clouds, ominously promising rain. Any other day when his mind wasn’t quite so occupied, Merlin might have thought it sounded like the roar of a dragon. Today he just scowls down at the pavement and keeps walking along the deserted street. 

Of course it’s going to rain, he thinks sourly. Why the hell wouldn’t it? Today is already labeled the Worst Day Ever as far as he is concerned. A thunderstorm would just be one more cliche on top of the shattered window and missing television he came home to.

On either end of the block, Merlin can hear the honking and screeching of the busy streets. Here, though, the street is quiet, the sounds muffled somewhat. The air has a gray quality to it, the colors fading in the thick mist that makes Merlin feel damp all over. 

A billboard catches his eye, bright lavender standing out against the bleak surroundings. A pale skinned, dark haired woman smiles seductively down from her perch, light lavender dress bringing out the makeup surrounding her eyes, demanding attention . Golden text proclaims: “Avalon Cosmetics: Unlock the beauty beyond yourself.” 

Merlin stares for a while, sparing a second to appreciate the beauty of the model. Then he decides the bright lavender colors iof the advertisement are offensice to his mood, so he averts his eyes.

Apart from a suit-clad stranger hurrying in the opposite direction, Merlin is alone on this street. He hunches in on himself, keeping his eyes firmly on the ground. 

He doesn’t even know where he’s going. Where do you go when you come home to find your flat raided and robbed of every valuable possession you own? The police were of no help at all, jotting notes that may as well have been a pasta recipe for all the good it did. Then they offered a shrug and left, leaving Merlin to cover up the hole in the wall and sulk. After that he decided he didn’t even want to be in this stupid flat and stormed out, to get drunk or something else, he doesn’t know. 

Thunder claps and Merlin scowls again, feeling the first cold drop of rain splash into his hair. As the pavement becomes spotted with droplets of water, he wishes he had somewhere to take shelter other than his drafty flat. 

At the next roar of thunder, Merlin suddenly collides with someone, sending him stumbling backwards. 

“Hey, watch where you’re going!”

Merlin groans and looks up to see a pair of very angry blue eyes glaring from underneath golden blond hair. Overhead, thunder claps again. 

Merlin glances down to see that the stranger’s phone has fallen, so he bends to pick it up, mentally adding this to the growing list of “reasons why today sucks.” 

Handing the phone out, Merlin takes a good look at the stranger. He’s wearing a very expensive-looking suit and carrying a cardboard cup of coffee without a lid, so that the steam rises from its depths to dissipate around the his face.

“I said, watch it,” He says, snatching the phone from Merlin’s outstretched hand. 

Merlin considers the indignant jawline and the entitled air surrounding this man. “Sorry, mate. Been a rough day. I should have payed more attention.”

“Damn right you should have,” the blonde says furiously. “You could have made a catastrophe of yourself.” 

“What?”

“If it weren’t for my reflexes you would have spilled coffee all over my suit. It’s quite expensive and somehow I doubt you could cover my dry cleaning bill, if the state of your clothes is anything to go by.” Merlin heats as the man eyes the frays at his collar. 

“Look, I said I was sorry,” Merlin fumes, “No need to be an arse about it.” 

“Yeah, alright, whatever.” The prat moves around Merlin, setting off across the street.

“Wanker,” Merlin mutters, and the prat freezes in the middle of the road. He turns slowly back to face Merlin again, eyebrows quirked in challenge. 

“What did you say?”

Merlin pauses. The rain is falling faster now, chilling his arms and splashing onto his face. Distantly the busy streets still sound, echoing to Merlin’s ears. He thinks he can hear the sound of a bus getting louder, but he dismisses it in favor of glowering at the man standing in the middle of the road. 

He should walk away, he knows he should. He doesn’t need a fight today, on top of everything else. Yet the challenge in this stranger’s tone catches him, and Merlin can’t help stepping forward until he’s inches from the man’s face. 

“I said,” He says, enunciating each syllable carefully, “That you’re a wanker.”

The stranger draws himself up, tightening his grip on his coffee. Merlin feels the steam from it ghosting over his face. The rain falls, landing with soft ‘plinks’ on the street around them.

“I’m very important you know. My tie is probably worth more than everything you’ve got on you.”

“So you’re a posh wanker then,” Merlin retorts, choosing not to acknowledge that the man is probably right. 

“You can’t talk to me like that!”

“Why the fuck not? Because you’re so much better than me?” Merlin snarls, letting the anger from his day unleash onto the man before him. “It’s gits like you that are the reason regular blokes like me get fucked every damn day!” The git opens his mouth to give a no doubt snobby reply, but Merlin cuts him off. “You think you’re so great because you’ve got money, but I bet all your friends are just after your wealth, aren’t they? I can’t imagine anyone actually liking an ass like you. And another thing–”

What happens next occurs in the space of a millisecond. The prat appears to stop listening, and Merlin reaches out to shove him. Then Merlin hears what caught his attention: The screeching of tires, far too close. Then the bus hits. 

~*~

_Merlin...Merlin..._

Merlin woke abruptly, startled out of his sleep.

_Merlin..._

Merlin rose onto his elbows to see Arthur still fast asleep. He took a moment to admire the way the way Arthur’s sleeping face looked against the pillow, illuminated by the harsh morning light to make him appear golden, his blond hair shining like a halo.

_Merlin..._

Someone was calling his name. Merlin looked around for the source of the voice, but all he could see was Arthur and the still steaming cup of coffee in the corner. 

_Merlin..._

Quietly, so as not to disturb Arthur, Merlin rose to his feet. Casting a look at Arthur sleeping form, Merlin stepped out of the tangle of blankets and walked over to the door, opening it and peering out.

Outside Merlin had to squint against the blinding light reflecting off the snow and sparkling in the creek. The trees stood tall as ever in their orderly rows, stretching into infinity.

_Merlin..._

He definitely heard it this time, coming from somewhere outside, somehow closer than the highway ever was. 

_Merlin!_

The voice sounded impatient, as if it had been waiting for Merlin to listen for quite some time. Glancing back once more at Arthur, Merlin ventured outside, closing the door behind him.

The sound of the highway seemed muted, the silence of the land overwhelming. He shuddered, forcing some sound into the world, and started walking.

The voice kept calling to him, so Merlin followed it, walking away from the creek and into the forest, until the cabin vanished behind him and all he could see were trees. They towered above him, their branches thickening until the sky was almost obscured from view. Shadows patterned the snow, spidering across the ground in infinitum. It Merlin on edge and he wrapped his arms around himself, ducking his head and walking where the voice led him.

Finally the trees thinned out until he reached a clearing, and when he looked up, Merlin’s jaw dropped.

A dragon sat before him, lounging in the snow as if it were a fine cushion, gazing at Merlin with serene, golden eyes. 

“Merlin,” The dragon said, nodding in acknowledgment. “It’s taken quite a long time to get you here. I was almost afraid you weren’t going to come.”

Merlin managed to lift his jaw and find his voice, which was somewhere in his shoes. “You called me here.”

The dragon nodded. “I did, yes. I’ve been calling to you ever since you arrived, but you’ve been a bit preoccupied to take notice.”

“Yeah,” Merlin said weakly, “I’ve been trying to get home.”

The dragon blinked at him. Merlin blinked back.

“Can you help me?”

“That depends. Where is your home?”

Merlin frowned. “I don’t know,” he admitted, “I don’t remember where I was before here.”

“Ah,” The dragon settled, shifting closer to look at Merlin. “You’ve got quite a problem, then. How can you expect to get home if you don’t know where home is?” 

“There’s a highway,” Merlin said, “If we find that, it could lead us somewhere, to people who could help us.”

“Us?”

“Me and Arthur.”

“Arthur!” the dragon exclaimed, “You found him then! He can’t help you either, I presume?”

“No,” Merlin shook his head, craning his neck to look into the dragon’s eyes. “And there was a woman, but she didn’t say anything.”

“Hm,” The dragon hummed, “I see. This place does do strange things with your memories.”

“My memories?” Merlin inquired.

“Yes, sometimes you will see a memory that appears useful, but is actually of no use at all. It can be quite frustrating, I’m sure.”

“What do you mean, my memories?” Merlin asked, “I don’t have any memories before this.”

“No, I don’t suppose you do,” The dragon mused. “Memories can get in the way of what’s important at times. Consider yourself lucky.”

Merlin scowled, crossing his arms. “I don’t like not remembering things.”

“It doesn’t matter whether you like it, soon it won’t matter at all.”

“What do you mean?” 

The dragon blinked down at him.

“Have you and Arthur had any luck finding this highway yet?”

Merlin shook his head again. “No,” He said, “We’ve been searching for days.”

“Then perhaps it is time you realized that there is no highway,” the dragon said. “If it has taken you so long to find it.”

“But we can hear it,” Merlin insisted, frustrated. “It’s out there somewhere, it has to be.”

“Memories can be troublesome,” The dragon repeated, as if this was the most important piece of wisdom Merlin would ever hear.

“What does that have anything to do with this?” Merlin exclaimed. 

“Sometimes,” The dragon said patiently, “Memories will appear to you and seem useful, when in reality they are of no use at all.” 

Merlin rose his eyebrows. “You said that already.”

“And I will say it again, if it helps you to understand.”

The dragon seemed to wait, staring at Merlin with wide gold eyes until Merlin grew uncomfortable. He dropped his gaze to the snow.

“So, the highway is just a memory?”

Merlin looked up to see the dragon nodding, mouth upturned in what appeared to be a smile. 

“It’s not real?”

The dragon shook his head, and Merlin’s heart sank into the ground. “So there’s no way out then,” He said. “Arthur and I are stuck here.”

“I never said that,” the dragon said, “The way out is not as simple as you think.”

“Then how do we get out?” Merlin asked impatiently. 

“To get out, you must realize the reason you were put here in the first place.”

Merlin frowned disbelievingly. “There’s a reason we’re here?”

“Destinies are fickle things, Merlin, and when they are not fulfilled, sometimes it takes a bit of a push to get people sent in the right direction.” 

Merlin scowled again, only seeming to amuse the dragon further. “Where even are we?” Merlin spat, “A dream? My dream?”

“The memory of the woman and the highway are shared by you and Arthur,” the dragon stated, “You are in a place where destiny can be realized without interruption from the outside world.”

“I can’t exactly fulfill my destiny if I’m stuck here, though,” Merlin pointed out. 

The dragon seemed to consider this. “Tell me, Merlin,” he said, “Where is Arthur now?”

“He’s at the cabin,” Merlin said, “He’s still asleep.”

“Does he know where you are right now?” 

“No.”

“Did you leave any indication of where you were going before you left?”

“No,” Merlin said impatiently, “I just left.”

“Take a moment to think on that.”

Merlin did. He pictured Arthur waking up alone in the cabin, the blankets cold where Merlin had left them. There would be no sign that Merlin had ever been there in the first place, just like the woman in the forest. Merlin imagined the panic of that moment, realizing Merlin wasn’t there with no way of knowing where he went. 

“Oh god,” Merlin muttered. 

“Precisely.” 

“I need to get back,” Merlin said frantically, making to turn and stride back through the forest. 

“Merlin.” Merlin turns around at the dragon’s call. “Good luck.”

Merlin looked up at the dragon, who was smiling knowingly down his snout. “Thanks,” he said shortly, then all but ran back in the direction of the cabin.

The door was hanging open when he found it, and when he ran inside and stumbled to a halt he found the room empty.

“Arthur?” Merlin called out, but there was no response. The blankets and pillows were a mess, as though Arthur had thrown it all aside in his haste to get up. Something in the corner caught Merlin’s eye, and his breath stopped in his throat as he saw the cup of coffee on it’s side, contents in a puddle around it. He walked over and knelt to touch the liquid– it was stone cold.

“Shit,” He breathed, jumping up and running outside. He looked around wildly, before choosing a direction at random and dashing off. 

“Arthur!” He cried, “Arthur, I’m here! Arthur!” 

He ran until the trees became a blur, keeping his eyes everywhere for any sign of Arthur. He ran, yelling Arthur’s name, and his voice became hoarse and ragged until he could only keep moving. When he decided Arthur must have gone in the other direction, he turned and kept running. 

He stopped to look in the cabin again, but it was still empty. Cursing, Merlin ran the other way.

Finally Merlin stumbled and fell. He lay with his face half buried in the snow, heart beating wildly against his ribcage and blood roaring in his ears. After a moment, Merlin pulled himself into a sitting position, rubbing his aching feet. 

“Arthur,” He called once he regained his breath. There was no response. 

“I didn’t mean to leave you alone, I’m sorry! I was going to be right back, I swear!” Still no response. 

“Shit.” 

On shaking legs he rose and headed back to the cabin. The cold descended on him and he shivered, hugging himself and rubbing his arms. He kept walking until he reached the cabin, then went into the trees for the second time that day.

Merlin was surprised to find that the dragon was still there, calmly swinging his talk back and forth as though he had been waiting for Merlin to come back.

“Arthur’s gone,” Merlin said, shivering.

“I expected nothing less.”

“Where did he go?” Merlin demanded, feeling ready to snap at any moment. 

“He has realized what he was meant to,” The dragon idly replied, “He has been allowed home.”

“That’s it?” Merlin asked, “He just got to leave without saying goodbye?”

“That does seem to be the case, yes.”

Merlin growled. “So I’m stuck here on my own, then?”

The dragon grinned, as far as dragons can. “For the moment, yes. You’ll be allowed home when you realize what you are meant to.”

“What’s that then?” Merlin asked. 

“I cannot simply tell you,” The dragon said, “It is something that cannot be told. To understand, you must learn it yourself. I believe you are on the very cusp of enlightenment.”

Merlin bit back his frustration. “Bloody useless,” he muttered. The dragon only chuckled. 

“You may want to return to your cabin, Merlin,” The dragon said. “It will be dark soon.”

Merlin looked at the sky. Indeed, the blue had faded into white, signifying the beginnings of rain. 

“The storms,” He said, “Are they just memories too?” 

“They are a tool,” The dragon replied. Thunder rumbled distantly– a warning of the storm to come. 

Merlin swallowed. He looked to the dragon, to the two golden eyes staring intently at him, and he fought not to squirm. Instead he nodded curtly and left without saying a word.

~

The cabin was cold, much colder than Merlin remembered. With every blanket piled on top of him surrounded by a wall of pillows, the cold still shrouded him like a wave, seeping into his clothes and turning his blood to ice. 

Without Arthur, Merlin curled in on himself as the storm shook the cabin. Rain attacked him, a million fists beating every surface in fury, trying to get in. The windows rattled in their sills and the cabin groaned and shrieked, the wind howled through the cracks and threatening to blow the whole place to pieces. 

Braving the storm alone, Merlin felt Arthur’s absence as an ache deep in his gut. There’s nobody for him to cling to, or to cling on to him. No neck to bury his face into to shield his eyes against the lightning, and no arms to protect him from the cold. 

“He promised he’d never leave me alone,” Merlin groaned, his voice lost to the anger of the storm. 

He left. Arthur left, having realized his true path or whatever it was that was so important. And he didn’t even say goodbye. Now Merlin was alone, feeling small in the eye of the raging weather around him.

Merlin screwed his eyes shut, trying to take himself away from the terror. He tried to think of nice things, and Arthur’s face came to mind. Arthur’s hair lit up against the snow, and the color that tinged his cheeks as he trekked after their way home. His sleeping profile in the mornings, so still and peaceful in the calm after a night of horror. The way he gripped Merlin’s arms painfully when he was scared, and how he rolled his eyes whenever Merlin said something particularly irritating. The way his arms tightened around Merlin during a clap of thunder. 

That’s when it hit him, with the force as strong as the wind outside. The realization was enough to jerk his entire body, and Merlin’s eyes flew open and he said it out loud. 

“Arthur.”

A flash of lightning struck and Merlin squinted against it. When it receded, the storm and the cabin were gone, and Merlin found himself blinking up at the flourescent lights of the hospital room.

~*~

The cup in Merlin’s hand is warm, the steam curling up wonderfully to tickle his nostrils. Merlin walks down the street, sipping at his coffee with his cell phone pressed to his ear.

“Gwen, I’m fine,” He says, catching a mouthful of foam with his lips. 

“I know, but I get worried,” Gwen says. “You scared me to death back when– well, you know when.”

Merlin laughs softly. “It was a year ago. The doctors said I’m fine now, you don’t need to worry anymore.” The street is crowded and Merlin weaves his way through the people, doing his best not to spill coffee on anyone.

“They could have missed something, you never know these days,” Gwen chides, and Merlin smiles into his cup. “You were brain dead for a week, Merlin, do you know how terrifying it was for me?”

Merlin swallows his mouthful. It feels pleasantly warm in his belly, heating his whole body to the tips of his toes. “Imagine getting hit by a bus.” 

Gwen sighs, her breath crackling in the speakers. “Alright, but I’m your friend, of course I’m worried about you.”

Merlin smiles. “I’m fine, really. The doctors said I’m fully functional, I can even go to the bathroom on my own!”

Gwen scoffs. “Most people who get run over by buses never wake up. How is it that you walked away without a scratch?”

“No idea,” Merlin says, taking another sip of coffee. “I’m a walking miracle.”

“You and that other bloke.”

“What was his name again?”

“The newspaper said ‘Aaron,’ I think. Or ‘Alex.’ ” Gwen says thoughtfully. “Son of some big important lawyer or something. I never met him, he woke up before you did.”

Merlin hums as he walks, leisurely dodging out of people’s way as they go about their lives. 

“Merlin?” 

“Hm?”

“You really don’t remember anything at all about that day?” 

Merlin smiles. “You never get tired of asking me that, do you?”

“Not everyone has a friend who’s cheated death,” she says. She sounds so hopeful. “Now that it’s been so long, some memories might have come back.”

“Sorry,” He says, “Last thing I remember is waking up that morning, next thing I know I’m in the hospital.”

Gwen sighs. “Alright, fine. Anyways, I’ve got to go, but I’ll call you later. And Merlin?”

“Yeah?”

“Be careful.”

Merlin rolls his eyes. “Yes, mum.”

“I mean it,” Gwen scolds, then hangs up before Merlin can reply.

As soon as he hangs up a body collides with his shoulder, sending his coffee crashing to the pavement and all over the stranger’s shoes. 

“Hey, watch where you’re–” 

The voice cuts off abruptly as Merlin looks up and meets the man’s eyes. Bright blue and startlingly familiar, all coherent thought flees Merlin’s mind as he and this man hold each other’s gaze. 

“Merlin,” The man says, but it sounds like a question.

“Arthur,” Merlin answer.

They stare at each other, people jostling and bumping into them as they stand still in the middle of the crowd.

“Do you...” Arthur starts, then trails off, lips slightly parted in wonder.

“Coffee,” Merlin says. Arthur nods like that made sense to him.

“Merlin and Arthur,” Arthur says with an awed smile. “It’s almost like destiny.”

Merlin grins, holding out a hand for Arthur to take. He does, with a blinding, achingly familiar grin. As they walk down the street together back towards the coffee shop, warm palms pressed Merlin has to agree that it does indeed feel like destiny.

In a bed of snow in a forest in a memory, the dragon smiles.


End file.
